Curses of all Kinds
by beege
Summary: Akane learns that a cure for Ranma's curse is the beginning of her problems, not the end of them.


Curses of all Kinds

I think I lost Ranma the day he got his curse cured. I know, it sounds ridiculous doesn't it? Ranma's curse was the big problem, the cause of all his troubles, the reason I couldn't –

Nevermind.

Anyway, curing the curse was meant to be the answer. Or so I'd convinced myself. Get the curse cured and everything would be fine. I didn't realize, even after he got it cured, that the curse had been an excuse. _My_ excuse. I remember the day we met Ranma and my sisters did their best to set him up with me. I don't suppose I can blame them, since I was trying to do exactly the same thing to them. It's funny how I never stopped to think about how Ranma must have felt about that. Anyway Kasumi – I think it was Kasumi – said that Ranma was perfect for me because I hated boys and he was half girl. And in a twisted kind of way she was right. Ranma's curse made him perfect for me. Not for the ridiculous reason she gave, but because it gave me a ready made excuse to dislike him – beyond the fact that he'd comprehensively shown me up as a martial artist. It was just the thing to fixate on. A boy who turned into a girl! Of course he was a pervert! Which meant, of course, that anything I did to him was automatically justified and guilt free. The question of _how_ it was supposed to make him a pervert was something I managed to completely overlook.

* * *

But back to that day. When he came home with his curse cured everyone went crazy. No surprise there. Our fathers, as you might expect, were delighted and practically demanded that we get married on the spot. That was my cue to assume that Ranma had done this just to force the issue and attack him for it.

I don't deal with shock well.

Not everyone's reactions were so predictable, though. Nabiki was definitely unhappy about the lost revenue and Kasumi was her usual self – even now I don't know for sure how much her surface behaviour reflects her inner thoughts – but Ranma's mother was a surprise. Not that I noticed it at the time, but looking back I think she was almost . . . disappointed. She was pleased for Ranma of course, and delighted to see him so happy, but when I think about it now I wonder if she didn't miss having 'Ranko' to mother. But if Ranma was happy then she was happy – her love for him really was unconditional, no matter what Genma might say. My father and Genma's reaction to Ranma no longer being cursed was only the beginning of Ranma's problems, however. Once he'd come back from wherever I'd hit him he had to explain _how_ he'd gotten rid of his curse and explain to Genma that no, he couldn't get free of the panda anytime soon. Not unless he could find someone who actually _wanted_ to turn into a panda anyway. Then there was the general scepticism surrounding Ranma's explanation of why Cologne had helped him at all. The amazons just wanted him for an ally after he defeated Saffron? Shampoo wasn't chasing him anymore? Yeah right. He was obviously lying – or so I told myself at the time. On reflection, it occurs to me that when I was younger I was something of a pessimist. It's not the first word that comes to mind, but how else would you describe someone who always assumes the worst as fact? That was my attitude towards Ranma, after all.

* * *

I think part of the problem was Ranma's disillusionment. I know him – or knew him – well enough to know that he would have expected curing the curse to solve all his problems. In fact it caused about as many problems as it solved, almost as though something was trying to keep Ranma's life balanced by making sure that every problem he dealt with would be replaced by a nice new one.

Knowing Ranma, that's probably closer to the truth than I want to think about.

But I'm getting sidetracked again. As I was saying, he had new problems to deal with. Ryouga was furious with Ranma for getting cured and 'leaving him out of it.' I'm still not sure what he meant by that. Kuno wanted to know what Ranma had done to his 'pig-tailed girl' and Mousse didn't stop harassing him for 'making Shampo miserable, you wretch!' until the day Cologne took him and Shampoo back to China. And as for Happosai . . .

Meanwhile some of the guys at school actually got angry at Ranma for curing his curse, which I suppose goes to show that the ideas I had about the opposite sex then weren't completely wrong. You can imagine how Ranma reacted to that.

And with all this something started to happen to Ranma, something unexpected. I think it happened because he'd expected things to change afterwards and they didn't. I shouldn't claim to understand him, not after the years I spent doing my best not to, but I think the continuing chaos in his life after he got a cure made him believe that it would always be that way for him, no matter what. He'd thought things would change, but they didn't, which meant they never would. He might have been right about that, I don't know. But whatever the reason for it was Ranma started to become bitter.

* * *

I didn't help – I didn't change either. After Ranma got cured I actually became _more_ jealous, not that I would ever admit that that's what it was. I suppose, on some level, I decided that losing the curse made him more attractive to the other girls. I can barely admit to myself, even now, that I might have seen the curse as something that tied him down, tied him to me, and without it he would move on to greener pastures.

I was such an idiot.

If I'd known then what I know now, maybe I'd be happy now. Instead, I kept on being an idiot. I kept on pushing Ranma away, kept on testing him, waiting for him to betray me like I knew he would. Waiting for him to leave, to fail me, just like everyone in my life did.

Like I said, I was an idiot.

Eventually I got my wish. I have this idea, based on some of the things I've seen people I know do, that unhappy people are more cunning than happy people. Misery lends itself to plotting. Ranma had always been fairly happy go lucky. Even at his worst he was basically optimistic. He had faith that things would turn out alright so I suppose he didn't see much need for planning ahead. That was something else that changed. After he started to get depressed about his situation Ranma started having long conversations with his mother. Private conversations. Not even Nabiki realised what he was doing. She just assumed, like the rest of us, that Ranma was getting to know the mother he'd been separated from for a decade.

Oh yeah, misery lends itself to plotting.

* * *

It came as a complete shock.

Ranma had gotten the engagement nullified.

I don't know what he said to his mother, how he managed to persuade her, but she called the engagement off. Just like that. Put all the blame on Genma. He and father tried to stand up to her but . . . well, they couldn't. No surprise. Turns out she actually knows how to use that katana. She and Ranma left that very day and Genma was gone not long after, though I doubt he joined them.

And that was that. Ranma was gone and life went on, kind of.

I've had years to think about this and a few things have occurred to me. There are all kinds of curses, and Ranma had more than one. What I never realised while we were together was that I had a few of my own. Not only jealousy and paranoia, but insecurity too. Insecurity most of all. Deep down, I never quite believed that Ranma was real. What's that expression? You can't like other people if you don't like yourself? Whatever, it's true. I didn't trust Ranma because I didn't think I deserved him.

I guess I was right about that.

* * *

Author's Notes

For anyone reading this who likes Love Hina or I My Me Strawberry Eggs, I should mention that 'Curses of all Kinds' is in continuity with my stories 'Speaking From Experience' and 'Curses and Blessings', though it stands on its own well enough. Other than that I'd like to thank Aondehafka for suggesting the idea for this story and giving his thoughts on it. After I decided to write it, it occurred to me that there weren't many stories where Ranma getting cured was what _stopped_ him from being with Akane, so I decided to try and explore that idea a little.


End file.
